ButtCandle^™ Home

We've made a conscious decision to not include any drawings or photographs of actual ButtCandle ^™ usage on this site. Our fear is that a few bad apple pranksters would make a mockery out of those images. With every order, we include a free 18 minute VHS or DVD video as well as printed instructions.

1. Thoroughly shower or bathe; it's best to leave the backside somewhat damp.
2. Squat, or lie on your back, to insert the ButtCandle ^™ to a depth of no more than 3 inches. If you encounter resistance, do not shove ... rather, gently twist while applying firm and steady pressure.
3. Upon completion of insertion, lie on your back and pull knees to your chest.
4. Strike the 10" wooden match that is provided. The lighting process, due to anatomical differences, is easier for women than for men. Men need to reach around their thigh to light the wick; whereas women will find it easier to reach directly between the legs. At no time should you permit the lit match to come in contact with your bodily parts.
5. As the candle burns, a vacuum will be created within the rectum and thereby draw out the stubborn fecal material. A gurgling sound and sensation is not uncommon or cause to worry. The candle will snuff itself after approximately 5 minutes.
6. If, at any time during the process, the need to void becomes urgent simply go to the toilet as normal; the candle will instanteously go out when it becomes vertically oriented and, furthermore, the candle is 100% soluble and septic-safe so there's no need to dispose of it in any other fashion.
7. The used ButtCandle ^™ should not be handled by anyone and kept out of reach of small children and household animals.
8. Many people find it relaxing to take a warm shower upon completion.

Word of mouth is our best advertising. We urge you to recommend this procedure, and our product, to your friends and family. A 15% discount will be creditted to your next purchase if one or more people mention your name while making their own purchase!